By the time you read this, it will be impossible to ignore the impending festive season. Christmas for many seems to start in October and by the end of November, you can’t leave the house without seeing the evidence! Whilst I am still loving the final colourful days of Autumn, I haven’t been unaware. For most of us, there are lists, dates in the diary and for many of us on the more introverted end of the spectrum, a slight feeling of overwhelm before it’s even started.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the seasonal festivity and good vibes of Christmas. I love to decorate my house, find that perfect gift and eat too much cheese and chocolate. I have beautiful memories of childhood Christmases and creating family Christmas traditions with my own children was magical. Santa still gets a mince pie and little whisky and Christmas Eve supper in our house isn’t complete without smoked salmon and brown bread! 

But amongst the magic, there is a lot of Christmas that can be just too much.

• Too loud

• Too busy

• Too many people

• Too much expectation.

• It was only since I really started to explore and understand my introvert nature that I have really come to understand why for years I avoided work Christmas do’s and why my Dad and I would inevitably find ourselves by 5pm on Christmas Day in the quietest room of the house with a little tipple. And there we would sit in quiet. And if we were lucky, we might even have a snooze. Perfect. 

I used to believe that I was anti-social as that was what I was told this was. But now I know better. I now know that just like a new toy, overused on Christmas Day, our batteries were flat. We just needed to recharge before one last play before bedtime. And Christmas work ‘do’s’ were just a step too far!

It’s hard to avoid the pressure, there is a burdensome expectation that we all need to be happy at Christmas and there is huge social pressure to do ALL the things… the parties, the Christmas lights, the markets, the Winter Wonderland, the family visits, shopping trips with mulled wine, buying enough food to feed a family for a month and gathering 15 people around a table designed for 8… 

I don’t have a recipe for the perfect Introvert Christmas, so please let me know if you find one! But here’s my gradually evolving list of top tips to manage your energy levels, whilst enjoying the best that the Christmas season has to offer! 

🎄Be prepared to employ some necessary boundaries. Your diary is your friend!

- Block out time to allow you to recharge and be at your best for the events that you want to attend (or really need to).

- Consider which events will feed you and which will drain you and plan accordingly, leaving rest and recharge gaps between events.

- Feel good about scheduling into January so you can enjoy spending time with those you are otherwise squeezing in. I really love starting the New Year with things to look forward to, that aren’t rushed or just too much. 

🎄Shopping and presents! This can be a huge source of sensory overload that these days can be avoided. Many introverts are very sensitive to noise, light and the physical overwhelm of lots of people. 

- Shop local and avoid busy shopping malls with their crowds, fluorescent lights and Christmas tunes on repeat!

- Get creative with handmade presents, gifts of experiences, promise vouchers, subscriptions or memberships.

- Shop online - but support small makers and independent businesses before heading to the big boys… especially the big A… 

🎄 Parties… sometimes they can’t be avoided and sometimes even introverts  like parties! 

- Arrive independently so you can leave when you choose!

- It can be easier to arrive at the beginning rather than when a party is in full swing.

- Find your people - mine are usually around the edges or in the kitchen! 

- Enjoy people watching! 

- If you find yourself having to make difficult small talk, have an exit plan! 

🎄 On the big day… by now I’m sure you will have your own tried and tested family routines and you know what works for you. The most important factor is to watch those energy levels and realise when you need to take time out. This could look like -

- Preparing some games in a quiet room

- Doing the washing up!

- Taking the dog round the block!

- Getting stuck in to that new book you were given (or gifted yourself!) 

🎄 And finally…

- Ditch those ‘shoulds’… what is the best thing for you and your people?

- Employ self compassion - this a great time to be kind to yourself - what a gift!

- Learn the art of ‘therapeutic lying’ - those little white lies that protect your boundaries… 

- And of course, it is perfectly acceptable over Christmas to wear pyjamas and watch movies at any time of day! 

The past two years of pandemic life have taught us such a lot about community and connection and Christmas 2020 was for many of us, different from any other. Here in my part of the UK, we were in lockdown, with only family members in our ‘bubble’ allowed to mix. I know that for me, and others I have spoken to, there were aspects of this that were lovely! A slow, intimate gathering in which our food was hot and we watched far more TV than we would usually! But being without family members on Christmas Day and not gathering with good friends over the Christmas season was also sad and lacking in joy.

So this year, wherever you are, I hope that you have a Christmas full of joy and happiness and love… with a healthy dose of quiet time!

Jo x